Want to try something new in the bedroom but not sure where to start? This guide is for curious couples taking their first steps into BDSM. Every pick below is beginner-friendly, easy to use and makes a great gift for a partner who's been dropping hints.
Not sure what they're into yet? Start with a kit. You get a little of everything so you can find out what you both like before you buy more.
Jump to: Starter Kits | Cuffs & Restraints | Blindfolds & Sensation | Gags | Collars & Leashes | Impact Play
Before You Play
- Talk first. Agree on what's in and what's off limits before anything comes out of the box.
- Pick a safe word. A simple system works best. "Red" means stop. "Yellow" means slow down.
- Have a non-verbal signal too. Dropping a set of keys or tapping three times works. You need this any time a gag is in.
- Keep safety shears nearby whenever you use rope or tape.
- Check in often. Stop right away if anything goes numb, tingly or cold.
- Leave time for aftercare. Cuddle, drink some water and talk about what you liked.
Starter Kits
Kits are the easiest way to start. You get several pieces in one box so you can try restraint, sensation and light impact without buying everything separately.
Ouch! 3-Piece Introductory Bondage Kit
Fur-lined metal cuffs, a satin blindfold and a soft flogger. Restraint, sensory play and light impact in one box.
Lovers Kits Whip, Spank & Tickle Set
A paddle that leaves an XOXO imprint, a playful whip for light swats and a feather tickler. Vegan leather and faux fur.
Bedroom Bliss Lover's Bondage Massage Set
The splurge pick. Satin restraints and blindfold, a paddle, a feather tickler, a massage candle and oil plus two rechargeable vibes.
Cuffs & Restraints
Cuffs are the easiest way to try restraint. They go on in seconds, come off just as fast and don't require any knot skills. Fit them so one finger slides underneath and never put anything around the neck.
Ouch! Adjustable Leather Handcuffs
Adjustable straps with a soft lining that fit almost any wrist. A handle between the cuffs lets you hold your partner from behind.
Black & White Plush Leather Ankle Cuffs
Furry lining, an adjustable strap and a sturdy clasp. Each cuff has a ring so you can connect them to wrist cuffs or a bed restraint.
Frisky Clear Bondage Tape
Sticks only to itself, so it won't pull hair or leave residue. Wrap wrists or ankles in seconds. 65 feet per roll.
Tip: Keep safety shears within reach whenever you use tape or rope, and check hands and feet often for numbness or cold.
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Blindfolds & Sensation
Take away sight and every touch, whisper and sound feels stronger. A blindfold is one of the easiest ways to build anticipation.
Orange Is The New Black Satin Sash
A 58-inch reversible satin sash. Use it as a blindfold or tie wrists with it. Soft enough for nervous beginners.
Boundless Blackout Eye Mask
Double-padded vegan leather that blocks out all light without itching or pinching. Stretches to fit.
Master Series Disguise Open Mouth Hood
Lightweight stretch spandex with a built-in padded blindfold. The mouth stays open, so breathing isn't affected.
Tip: Try a regular blindfold before the hood. And don't pair the hood with a gag until you've both used each one on its own.
Shop All Blindfolds, Masks & Hoods →
Gags
A gag takes away words, so set up your non-verbal safe signal before it goes in. Keep the first sessions short and take it out if breathing feels off or the jaw gets sore.
Peaches 'n CreaMe Silicone Lips Gag
The easiest gag to start with. Open-mouth silicone lips on a faux leather buckle strap, so it doesn't fill the mouth.
Ouch! Puppy Play Silicone Bone Gag
A medical-grade silicone bone on a bonded leather strap. Perfect if pet play is part of the fantasy.
Boundless Ball Gag
The classic. A 1.5-inch body-safe silicone ball that's gentle on teeth with a fully adjustable vegan leather strap.
Collars & Leashes
A collar is more about the mindset than the hardware. Fit it so two fingers slide underneath. Use the leash to guide, never to pull and never tie it to anything.
Peaches 'n CreaMe Fur Collar & Leash
Soft peach faux fur lining with rose gold hardware. An 18.5-inch adjustable collar and a 30-inch detachable leash.
Bondage Couture Vinyl Collar & Leash
Glossy blue vinyl with nickel-free hardware and a 43-inch leash. Bold enough to make a statement.
Sportsheets Saffron Leash & Collar
Black and red vegan leather that adjusts to fit most. Comes with a chain leash and loop handle.
Impact Play
Start soft and build slowly. Warm up with light taps, stick to fleshy areas like the butt and thighs and stay away from the spine, kidneys and joints.
Sportsheets Ostrich Feather Body Tickler
Every good scene needs contrast. A 16-inch real ostrich feather for teasing between swats. Includes a guide of sensual games.
Sex & Mischief Mahogany Flogger
A 30-inch faux leather flogger with a wood-look handle. Drag it slowly to tease or swing it for a soft thud.
Ouch! Hearts Paddle
Firm but flexible stitched faux leather that can leave little heart marks. Start with light swats and build up.
Beginner BDSM FAQ
What's the best BDSM gift for a beginner?
A starter kit. The Ouch! 3-Piece Introductory Bondage Kit gives you cuffs, a blindfold and a flogger for about $30, so you can try a little of everything before you invest in more.
What is a safe word?
A word you both agree means "stop right now." Pick something you'd never say by accident during sex. Many couples use "red" for stop and "yellow" for slow down.
How do you use a gag safely?
Agree on a non-verbal safe signal first, like dropping an object or tapping three times. Start with an open-mouth gag, keep sessions short and never leave someone alone while gagged.
Is BDSM safe for beginners?
Yes, when you talk first, agree on limits, start with beginner gear and check in often. Go slow and build up as you learn what you both like.
Will my order ship discreetly?
Yes. Orders ship in 1 to 2 business days in plain packaging.
