Using sex toys in your relationship doesn't have to be intimidating or complicated. When introduced thoughtfully, sex toys can enhance sexual pleasure and create a happier and healthier version of you.
They can also provide physical benefits that transform your sexual relationship while promoting both physical and mental well-being. Let's explore how using sex toys can help you experience pleasure.
Health Benefits
Physical Benefits of sex toys
Cardiovascular Health: Sex toys can make sex more exciting and pleasurable - which means you and your partner will probably want to do it more often.
Regular sexual activity helps regulate hormone levels in your body, triggering the release of estrogen, testosterone, and DHEA (which support immune function), and also balancing cortisol levels.
This hormonal harmony can improve everything from mood and energy levels to skin health and metabolic function.
- Increases heart rate and blood flow
- Counts as light to moderate exercise
- Can burn 85-250 calories per session
Better Sleep: Sex toys prioritize pleasure and can help you and your partner have stronger more intense orgasms. The powerful combination of physical exertion and post-orgasm hormone release (particularly prolactin and oxytocin) promotes deeper, more restful sleep patterns.
This naturally relaxes your body and mind and helps to regulate your circadian rhythm for better long-term sleep quality.
- Post-orgasm hormones promote deeper rest
- Natural alternative to sleep aids
- Helps establish healthy sleep patterns
Pelvic Floor Health: Engaging pelvic floor muscles during sex toy use and orgasm acts as a natural form of exercise for these crucial muscles.
Strengthening them over time improves bladder control, enhances sexual response, supports reproductive organs, and even helps prevent prolapse - making it particularly beneficial for women's long-term reproductive and sexual health.
- Strengthens pelvic floor muscles
- Can help prevent incontinence
- Improves sexual response
Mental Health Benefits of sex toys
- Provides stress relief through physical release: Sexual intercourse with toys triggers the release of endorphins and oxytocin (the "love hormone"), acting as natural stress relievers while lowering cortisol levels in your body,
- Reduces anxiety through mindful focus on pleasure: Couples' play with sex toys can also help reduce anxiety and create a calming effect similar to meditation.
- Boosts mood and self-confidence: Exploring your body with sex toys helps you understand what brings you pleasure, leading to increased sexual confidence and improved self-esteem that often carries over into other areas of life, from personal relationships to professional interactions.
- Promotes mindfulness and body awareness: Using sex toys encourages you to focus entirely on physical sensations and stay present in the moment. This creates a stronger connection between mind and body and helps you better understand and communicate your needs and desires to your partner.
- Helps combat depression symptoms: Regular sexual activity and orgasms boost levels of serotonin and dopamine - natural mood regulators that can help alleviate symptoms of depression - while creating positive experiences that break negative thought patterns.
- Increases overall life satisfaction: A fulfilling sex life, whether solo or with a partner, contributes to better physical health, improved sleep patterns, stronger relationships, and a more positive outlook on life, all of which combine to increase overall happiness and life satisfaction.
Relationship Benefits
Improved Communication
Introducing and using sex toys with your partner creates natural opportunities for vulnerable conversations about desires, boundaries, and pleasure. These intimate conversations strengthen sexual communication and often lead to deeper emotional intimacy.
This open dialogue about sexual satisfaction is important to your relationship because couples who successfully navigate these discussions often find it easier to talk about other sensitive topics.
- Creates opportunities for open dialogue
- Helps express desires and boundaries
- Builds trust through vulnerability
- Encourages ongoing sexual communication
- Strengthens emotional intimacy
Sexual Exploration
Using sex toys together allows couples to safely experiment with new sensations and experiences in a controlled way. This takes the pressure off individual performance and lets you discover each other's preferences and responses.
Sexual exploration can lead to more satisfying intimate encounters and a deeper understanding of both your own and your partner's pleasure - ultimately creating a more adventurous and fulfilling shared sexual journey.
- Allows safe experimentation
- Helps identify preferences
- Reduces performance pressure
Increased Intimacy
- Creates shared vulnerable experiences
- Builds trust through exploration
- Develops stronger emotional bonds
- Improves overall relationship satisfaction
- Encourages quality time together
Sexual Wellness
- Helps partners express needs more clearly
- Reduces performance pressure
- Allows exploration of new sensations safely
- Can help address common intimate challenges
- Helps address common sexual concerns
- Supports sexual rehabilitation after illness or surgery
- Assists with sexual problems in a non-threatening way
- Provides options for different ability levels
- Supports sexual expression during pregnancy and postpartum
Starting the Conversation
If you're interested in introducing sex toys into your relationship:- Choose the right moment for discussion (not during intimacy)
- Start with general conversations about desires and fantasies
- Share articles or resources about the benefits
- Listen to your partner's thoughts without judgment
- Start slowly with mutually agreed-upon choices
Important Reminders
- Always prioritize consent and mutual comfort
- Take time to learn about proper cleaning and care
- Start with simpler options before exploring more advanced toys
- Focus on enhancing connection, not replacing it
Remember: A healthy intimate life contributes to overall wellness, and sex toys can be valuable tools in that journey. The key is open communication and mutual enthusiasm.
Sex Toy Usage
There are a variety of different types of toys that you can use in your relationship. Some couples enjoy using vibrators or other kinds of pleasure devices during sex. Others like to use playful items such as blindfolds or feathers during sex and foreplay. Whatever type of sex toy you choose, the important thing is that you are both enjoying yourselves.
How they can strengthen relationships and your health
There are many ways to keep your relationship healthy and happy, and using sex toys is one of them. That’s right – sex toys can actually have a lot of benefits when it comes to your relationship. A happy relationship will promote good mental and physical health for both partners. Here are just a few examples:
Sex toys can help keep the spark alive
If you feel like your relationship has become a little “routine”, then introducing some new toys can really help spice things up. It’s all about trying new things and keeping it exciting.
Sex toys can help you communicate
Communication is key in any relationship, and sometimes toys can help facilitate that communication. If you’re not sure how to express your needs or desires, using sex toys can help give you a better idea of what you like and don’t like. This way, you can communicate better with your partner and make sure that both of your needs are being met.
Sex toys can help you relax
Life can be stressful, making it hard to relax and enjoy. Using toys during sex can help you let go and unwind.
Sex toys can help to spice things up
If your sex life has become a little mundane, then introducing a few new toys into the mix can really help to inject some excitement back in. Trying out new things together is a great way to keep the spark alive in your relationship.
Sex toys can help you explore new sides of yourself
Sex toys can help you to explore new sides of yourself that you never knew existed. This is great for both you and your partner and will help you learn more about yourselves and each other.
A happy sex life promotes good health
When you’re making an effort to have a healthy sex life (with a long-term partner or with casual partners), your physical and mental health will be improved as well.
This can include tons of activities that reduce stress, put you in new situations, open your mind to new ideas and keep you physically active.
Things like trying out new sex toys can force us to open up new doors in our brains, which can ultimately lead to new pleasure pathways and increase intimacy with other people in our lives.
And the better this new and exciting sex is, the more often you’ll want to do it, meaning you’ll get cardio in while you’re at it. And don’t forget the amount of stress relief that orgasm and even just simply being in the arms of a lover can bring.
Regular orgasms are great for your physical health. When you find the perfect sex toy for you or your partner, you’ll be amazed at how many orgasms you can provide and enjoy together!
Now you know the health benefits of sex toys, but how can you ask your partner to try them?
Using sex toys in your relationship can have several benefits. They can help increase intimacy between you and your partner, but first, they must be on board with the idea. Ask them what they would be interested in trying out. Make sure they are open to exploring the benefits of sex toys.
Remember that in order to be fully enjoyed, sex toys should be used only when both parties involved are willing and excited.
Don't forget the lube
Lubricant plays a vital role in both sexual health and comfort by reducing friction during sexual activity. This reduction in friction helps prevent micro-tears and irritation of sensitive tissues, significantly lowering the risk of infections and STI transmission.
A good quality vaginal lubricant also protects the vagina's natural pH balance and helps maintain healthy vaginal flora. While many people produce natural lubrication, factors like hormonal changes, medication, stress, or age can affect this natural process, making supplemental lubrication an important tool for protecting intimate health.
Beyond the health benefits, lubricant can dramatically enhance sexual pleasure for all partners involved. It helps create smoother, more comfortable sensations during sexual stimulation and can intensify the feeling by reducing unwanted friction while maintaining desired pressure and movement.
Water-based lubricants are versatile and safe with all types of protection and toys, while silicone-based options last longer and are ideal for shower play. Some lubes even offer additional sensations like warming or cooling effects. Heating and cooling lubes can create a different sexual sensation and more pleasure.
The key is choosing a body-safe product free from potentially irritating ingredients like glycerin or parabens, and always performing a patch test before full use.
Getting Started
Choosing Your First Toy
-
Consider Your Goals
- Solo or partner play
- External or internal stimulation
- Specific sensations desired
-
Material Safety
- Choose body-safe materials
- Look for medical-grade silicone
- Avoid phthalates and toxic materials
-
Start Simple
- Begin with versatile options
- Consider size and intensity levels
- Read reviews and research brands
The Importance of Lubrication
Health Benefits
- Prevents micro-tears and tissue damage
- Reduces risk of infections
- Maintains vaginal pH balance
- Supports natural lubrication
Types of Lubricant
-
Water-based
- Safe with all toys and barriers
- Easy to clean
- Most versatile option
-
Silicone-based
- Longer-lasting
- Great for water play
- Not compatible with silicone toys
-
Hybrid
- Combines benefits of both types
- Check toy compatibility
- Good middle-ground option
Starting the Conversation
- Choose a relaxed, non-sexual moment
- Share educational resources
- Express curiosity and openness
- Listen without judgment
- Respect boundaries and concerns
Ongoing Discussion
- Regular check-ins about comfort
- Share feedback and experiences
- Discuss new interests
- Maintain open dialogue
- Celebrate successes together
Safety and Care
Hygiene Practices
- Clean toys before and after use
- Use appropriate cleaning products
- Store properly in a clean, dry place
- Replace toys when showing wear
- Never share without proper sanitization
Safe Usage Guidelines
- Always use appropriate lubricant
- Start slowly and adjust the intensity
- Pay attention to body signals
- Respect physical limitations
- Maintain a regular cleaning routine
Sex toys can be valuable tools for enhancing both physical and mental well-being while strengthening intimate relationships. Success comes from open communication, mutual consent, and a thoughtful approach to exploration.
Remember that every journey is unique, and there's no "right" way to incorporate sex toys into your relationship – the key is finding what works best for you and your partner while maintaining trust, respect, and enthusiasm.
Here are a few of the best sex toys for couples:
- Lovense Lush 3.0 Camming Vibrator: The Lush 3 is great for couples and long-distance play.
- We-Vibe Sync O Couples Vibe: Sync O is a unique C-shaped vibrator for couples. Watch this video to see what couples had to say about the Sync O by We-Vibe.
- We-Vibe Vector+ Prostate Massager: Vector by We-Vibe has an adjustable head and flexible base that target the prostate and perineum. See what other couples had to say (watch this video) about this flexible prostate massager.
- Everything Bondage Kit: Fleece-lined PVC wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs and collar make for a comfortable intro to a personal bondage fantasy.
